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25 THINGS YOU NEED TO STOP WASTING TIME ON

This morning I received a thank you email from a reader named Hope.  She said our blog and book helped motivate her through an arduous recovery process following a serious car accident last year.  Although her entire story was both heartbreaking and inspiring, this one line made me pause and think:

 

“The happiest moment of my life is still that split-second a year ago when, as I laid crushed under a 2000 pound car, I realized my husband and 9-year-old boy were out of the vehicle and absolutely OK.”

Dire moments like this force us to acknowledge what’s truly important to us.  In Hope’s case, it was her husband and son.  And in the remainder of her email, she talks about how her family spends significantly more time together now, simply sharing stories, telling jokes, and appreciating each other’s company.  “The accident made us realize how much time we had been wasting every day on things that weren’t important, which prevented us from spending quality time with each other,” she said.

It’s hard to think about a story like Hope’s and not ask yourself:  “What do I need to stop wasting time on?”

Here are some things to consider, that I’ve been examining in my own life:

  1. Distractions that keep you from special moments with special people. – Pay attention to the little things, because when you really miss someone you miss the little things the most, like just laughing together.  Go for long walks.  Indulge in great conversations.  Count your mutual blessings.  Let go for a little while and just BE together.
  2. Compulsive busyness. – Schedule time every day to not be busy.  Have dedicated downtime – clear points in the day to reflect, rest, and recharge.  Don’t fool yourself; you’re not so busy that you can’t afford a few minutes of sanity.
  3. Negative thinking about your current situation. – Life is like a mirror; we get the best results when we smile.  So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems.  Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.
  4. The needless drama around you. – Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you.  Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.
  5. The desire for everything you don’t have. – No, you won’t always get exactly what you want, but remember this:  There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now.  The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for.  Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they already have.
  6. Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness.                                                  You could spend a lifetime worrying about what others have, but it wouldn’t get you anything. 
  7. (Read The How of Happiness.) 
  8. Thinking about who you were or what you had in the past. – You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago.  You’re always growing.  Experiences don’t stop.  That’s life.
  9. Worrying about the mistakes you’ve made. – It’s OK if you mess up; that’s how you get wiser.  Give yourself a break.  Don’t give up.  Great things take time, and you’re getting there.  Let your mistakes be your motivation, not your excuses.  Decide right now that negative experiences from your past won’t predict your future.
  10. Worrying about what everyone thinks and says about you. – Don’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal.  Rarely do people do things because of you; they do things because of them.  You honestly can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you.  All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.
  11. Self-deception. – Your life will improve only when you take small chances.  And the first and most difficult chance you can take is to be honest with yourself.
  12. A life path that doesn’t feel right. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.  When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows, and it pays.  Success in life is for those who are excited about where they are going.  It’s about walking comfortably in your own shoes, in the direction of YOUR dreams.
  13. Everyone else’s definition of success and happiness. – You simply can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions and expectations.
  14. Those who insist on using and manipulating you. – What you allow is what will continue.  Give as much as you can, but don’t allow yourself to be used.  Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your own voice in the process.  (Read Codependent No More.)
  15. Trying to impress everyone. – One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and that’s perfectly OK. No matter how you live, someone will be disappointed.  So just live your truth and be sure YOU aren’t the one who is disappointed in the end.
  16. All the fears holding you back. – Fear is a feeling, not a fact.  The best way to gain strength and self-confidence is to do what you’re afraid to do.  Dare to change and grow.               In the end, there is only one thing that makes a dream completely impossible to achieve: Lack of action based on the fear of failure.
  17. Doubting and second-guessing yourself. – When in doubt just take the next small step.  Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.
  18. People who continuously dump on your dreams. – It’s better to be lonely than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your destiny.  Don’t let others crush your dreams.  Do just once what they say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their negativity again.
  19. Thinking the perfect time will come. – You can’t always wait for the perfect moment.  Sometimes you must dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what could have been.
  20. Band-Aids and temporary fixes. – You can’t change what you refuse to confront.  You can’t find peace by avoiding things.  Deal with problems directly before they deal with your happiness.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)                                                                        
  21. Close-minded judgments. – Open your mind before you open your mouth.  Don’t hate what you don’t know.  The mind is like a parachute; it doesn’t work when it’s closed.
  22. Other people’s mistakes and oversights. – Today, be tolerant of people’s mistakes and oversights.  Sometimes good people make bad choices.  It doesn’t mean they’re bad; it simply means they are human.
  23. Resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor forgiveness for acceptance.  It’s about knowing that resentment is not on the path to happiness.  Remember, you don’t forgive people because you’re weak. You forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make mistakes.
  24. Any hateful thoughts at all. – Set an example.  Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.  Make kindness a daily ritual; it’s what makes life happier and more fulfilling in the long run.
  25. Regrets of any kind. – You don’t have to be defined by the things you once did or didn’t do.  Don’t let yourself be controlled by regret.  Maybe there’s something you could have done differently, or maybe not.  Either way, it’s merely something that has already happened.  Leave the unchangeable past behind you as you give yourself to the present moment.
  26. Every point in time other than right now. – Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone.  Don’t stress too much about the future, it hasn’t arrived.  Do your best to live NOW and make this moment worth living.

Current Affairs

Delhi-Based Couple’s Wedding Invite Is Going Viral..Here’s Why

A Delhi-based couple has decided to invite people to their wedding with their hatke invitations and it’s going viral on Twitter.

Marriage is a union of two people, who begin a new lease of life by taking vows and making their way into a beautiful commitment! To celebrate the unison, an extravagant affair is planned that last for almost a week. And when it comes to Indian weddings, people sometimes go the extra mile to make their D-day memorable. A Delhi-based couple is the latest addition to the list, who decided to invite people to their wedding with their hatke invitations.

Twitter handle, @Stuprous_doctor, a short while ago tweeted the images of a trendy wedding invite, said to be that of Suresh Kumar and Vidhya Priyanka BD, and Twitterati just lost it. Molded in the form of an iPhone, allegedly created by Kumar’s cousin, the invites is generating a hype for its interesting design. In accordance to a BuzzFeed report, Kumar said that despite the fact that theirs was an arranged marriage, it was speedy to bloom into love and they wanted to publicize their big decision in a “weird, quirky way” to the world.

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Your Thoughts

Meet this lucky man who gets paid to have s3x with prostitutes

‘John’ is 60, divorced, and gets paid to have s3x with prostitutes. Well, “more often than not it’s just a handjob” he says.

He is one of several private investigators being hired in Australia as ‘brothel busters’, who pose as regular customers in order to unearth illegal s3x work.

“I’m pretty sure plenty of fellas would be a bit envious of how I’m earning a bit of pocket money from time to time,” he told news.com.au, replying when asked whether it was a good retirement gig: “Oh, most definitely.”

His job is necessary because authorities have little power to access premises without a court order, making it difficult to bust the brothels posing as massage parlours that are ubiquitous in New South Wales.

John can provide them with highly graphic detail about the services on offer however, filing reports that can run for up to three pages and include dates, times, people, places, who, what, when, where and how much.

“It’s a document that will be used in court, so it has to be pretty detailed and very accurate. It’s not something you can waddle off in a couple of minutes,” he said.

More often than not, he claims, the parlours are fronts.

“If you looked hard enough, you might be able to find a massage parlour that doesn’t offer s3xual services,” he said. “In my experience there have only been three premises where I have gone in and not been offered that service some time during the course of the treatment.”

John notes that while some offer intercourse which he obligingly accepts, “more often than not it’s just a handjob. They just want to get it over and done with and get the next one in.”

Lachlan Jarvis, managing director of private investigation firm Lyonswood, is in charge of hiring undercover s3x investigators.

“We prefer people who are single, and obviously they have to be willing to undertake s3xual activity,” he told news.com.au.

 “I’m not surprised that some people would say that spending ratepayers’ money on the services we provide is outrageous, but they don’t understand that we help stop s3x trafficking, for example.”
John counts himself lucky to have what is a fairly relaxed and flexible job.
“It’s not your typical nine-to-five, Monday-to-Friday job,” he said. “There are no time constraints, and there’s never been a stage where I’ve felt threatened or worried about my safety.”
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Your Thoughts

Once She was a Shepherd Girl In Morocco, Now France’s Education Minister! Inspirational Story.

Once A Shepherd Girl In Morocco, Najat Vallaud-Belkacem Is Now France’s Education Minister!
Everybody dreams of making it big in life but very few determined souls really act upon it. The story of Najat Vallaud-Belkacem is a testament to this, who overcame all the obstacles life laid at her feet and carved her own destiny.
Once a shepherd girl of four – who fetched water from the well – Najat moved to France with her family and faced the real world full of opportunities as well as struggles. The Moroccan girl who had no proficiency in French learnt the language by the end of her first year in college.
“The fact of leaving one’s country, one’s family, one’s root can be painful, my father had already found his place, but for us, for my mother, it was very difficult to get our bearings.”

Najat inherited hard work and resourcefulness from her father who laid strict rules for his daughters – no boys and no nightclubs till the age of 18. As a result, the girls completely surrendered themselves to studies.
Najat’s sister, Fatiha, is a lawyer in Paris.
While studying at the University of Amiens, Najat got the opportunity to pursue higher education with the prestigious Institut d’études politiques de (also known as Sciences Po). This set her on the path winding the political landscape in France.

Najat worked two jobs to take the financial load off her parents while pursuing her Master’s in Public Administration. It is during this time she met Boris Vallaud, a fellow student, and the two married in 2005.


Najat’s political career began with her joining the Socialist Party as an adviser to the mayor of Lyon. She later ran for elections and won the seat of the Councillor. In 2012, she was appointed as the Minister of Women’s Affairs by François Hollande, the then Socialist president.
In 2014, she served as the Minister of Women’s Right, Minister of City Affairs, Minister of Youth Affairs and Sports. In a major cabinet shuffle, she was promoted to serve as the Minister of Education. While advising the youth who want to participate in the country’s politics, Najat said, “I have always advised the youths to get involved in politics. The best way to be happy with your future is by playing a part in it. If you’re just a spectator of collective fate, you’re bound to feel frustrated.”

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